flightless bird, silent screams

this is my last post for the year so i almost feel obliged to write something. i haven't done that for a while. lately photography for me has become so personal that i dare not show it to anyone at all but i feel i have to. i must. i am most vulnerable in front of my camera, but i am learning to find strength in the fragile state it puts me in. all these pictures i am taking are all fragments of my memories, each with their own stories that i could not tell any other way. some i want to scream out loud to the whole world, at the top of my lungs. some i wish weren't mine to tell, but i am learning that i cannot always get what i want. i can't always be happy. i can't always be perfect. i can't always choose. so in whatever form these stories that have come to become mine, this year i have learnt to embrace them all, the good and the bad.

this year i felt like i lost myself countless times and it is as if i am constantly breaking into fragments and picking up the pieces, and becoming new again. it is as if i am climbing to the mountain top and falling to the bottom, time and time again. its all part of life i guess. i am growing up, and i am learning, and i am seeing, and i am giving and i am taking in. i am living.

2011 was the best and worst year of my life. 

i hope however your year was, you made the best out of it. i hope you leave the regrets with the passing year, and carry on with you the memories and the lessons that you learnt, so you know that whatever the new year turns out to be like, and whatever surprises it brings along with it, you are ready for it. you are ready to be grateful for the happiness and success and luck and love that i know you deserve and i hope you get. you are ready to face your fears, find strength in your weaknesses, and always, always learn, regardless of how endless the darkness is, regardless of how rocky the road is, regardless of how much the odds are against you, and luck does not favour you. you are ready to learn, and grow, and live.

happy new year to you!

rose coloured glasses

there's beauty in everything. not everybody sees it.
when the time comes, i will take off these rose coloured glasses, but for now my dear, let me keep them on. the world isn't as pretty without these hues and i don't think i am ready to see it for what it really is.


a little shoot with a friend to help him raise money for charity. you can view his mospace by clicking here. please donate if you can (however much it is) it'd be very much appreciated. thank you!


peter and erica's wedding

two months ago my friend diana field had asked me to assist her for peter and erica's wedding she was shooting and i asked her to let me be the second-shooter too. i am so happy that i was able to take pictures whilst i was there. i wasn't there for the whole wedding and besides, i was mainly there to hold the reflector when needed so i wasn't able to take pictures of the complete wedding. i haven't photographed that many details. i haven't photographed the moments that touched me the most, that made me happiest, for those two people who i didn't even know and i'd never met before and yet seeing them so much in love and having the pleasure to witness them as they declared their love for eachother and celebrated what could only be one of the most important days of their lives, it almost doesn't matter to me that in parts i gave up being the assistant or the second shooter and just let myself feel the love and happiness around me. here are some pictures that i took and they aren't perfect, and if i compare them to the works of other wedding photographers, they dont mean much, but i know that to peter and erica they mean much much more, and thats what matters the most.

time to grow up

it's hard trying to remain a kid when you are in a grown up world. i try to keep the wonder alive but the more i try, the more it slips by. i'm growing up, slowly but surely. 
i'm just not sure if i like it yet.

model: ruby ellis
mua: lowri alice jones

high flying birds

pictures of lloyd, charlotte and jat from the silent night that we stayed awake being loud.



bedtime lullabies

pictures of my baby nephew before bedtime.



i had been increasingly becoming more aware of how long it had been that i hadn't updated anything on here and this thought at the back of my head never went away. i wanted to post amazing pictures, something worthwhile to make up for the absence but then i never got round to taking those, what with me chasing time in an endless loop of circles. the thoughts are there, the pictures aren't anymore. i had stopped taking pictures for a while, no reason, i just did. maybe i thought i didnt need to anymore. i had convinced myself that the best moments in life could not be created or captured, just felt. i guess i was wrong. besides, there's no harm in trying. here are some from university so far. 

caretakers of the founders building at the south quad
sam bathing in the warmth of the street light
 watching stars at the quad
alejandra in the night time
silhouettes against the founders windows
girl in the dark
campbell smiling
lloyd checking the time
charlie playing banana pancakes
charlie and his guitar
simant resting against the founders staircase
me by the window.

hopefully yours


model: emma coates
hair and makeup: subechhya gurung
clothing: maxc london