flightless bird, silent screams

this is my last post for the year so i almost feel obliged to write something. i haven't done that for a while. lately photography for me has become so personal that i dare not show it to anyone at all but i feel i have to. i must. i am most vulnerable in front of my camera, but i am learning to find strength in the fragile state it puts me in. all these pictures i am taking are all fragments of my memories, each with their own stories that i could not tell any other way. some i want to scream out loud to the whole world, at the top of my lungs. some i wish weren't mine to tell, but i am learning that i cannot always get what i want. i can't always be happy. i can't always be perfect. i can't always choose. so in whatever form these stories that have come to become mine, this year i have learnt to embrace them all, the good and the bad.

this year i felt like i lost myself countless times and it is as if i am constantly breaking into fragments and picking up the pieces, and becoming new again. it is as if i am climbing to the mountain top and falling to the bottom, time and time again. its all part of life i guess. i am growing up, and i am learning, and i am seeing, and i am giving and i am taking in. i am living.

2011 was the best and worst year of my life. 

i hope however your year was, you made the best out of it. i hope you leave the regrets with the passing year, and carry on with you the memories and the lessons that you learnt, so you know that whatever the new year turns out to be like, and whatever surprises it brings along with it, you are ready for it. you are ready to be grateful for the happiness and success and luck and love that i know you deserve and i hope you get. you are ready to face your fears, find strength in your weaknesses, and always, always learn, regardless of how endless the darkness is, regardless of how rocky the road is, regardless of how much the odds are against you, and luck does not favour you. you are ready to learn, and grow, and live.

happy new year to you!