vagabonds

 

these pictures are long overdue. i am finally satisfied with the postprocessing now :) (i used more photoshop than picnik this time for a change and i'm glad i did) sorry if it all looks similar, i wanted to edit them uniformly. the lovely model is pritty who was extremely shy and nervous but with a lot of cheering (and bubbles) from her ongso-mongso gang she gave me so many beautiful pictures :) i will upload more pictures of her tomorrow. i have decided i don't want loads of pictures in the same post, so the others will have to wait :)

sometimes i lay on train tracks...

...to feel what it's like to be alive.

someone told me that you still loved me...

...if thats even possible.
 

I’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,
They pass like an instant, like wilting roses.
I’m told that time slipping by is a bastard
Making its coat of our sorrows.
Yet someone told me…

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.
Well ? Could that be possible?

I’m told that fate makes fun of us,
That it gives us nothing and promises everything,
When happiness seems to be within our reach,
We reach out and find ourselves like fools.
Yet someone told me…

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.
Well ? Could that be possible?
Well ? Could that be possible?

So who said that you still loved me?
I don’t remember any more, it was late at night,
I can still hear the voice, but I can no longer see the face,
“He loves you, it’s secret, don’t tell him I told you.”
You see, someone told me

That you still loved me
Did someone really tell me?
That you still loved me
Well, could that be possible?

I’m told that our lives aren’t worth much,
Passing in an instant, like wilting roses,
I’m told that time slipping by is a bastard,
Making its coat of our sadnesses.

That you still loved me
Someone told me…
That you still loved me.
Well ? Could that be possible?

life is beautiful

these are pictures from last saturday when i was in oxford. i had to cycle for almost an hour to get to this place (i think its called boars hill). it was so hot that day and by the time i got there, i was sweating and had gone all red, besides i rarely cycle! but all the effort was worth it in the end. the view from there was amazing and i found this area covered with yellow flowers (i know what they are called but cant remember now ) where i took these pictures and i think they've turned out quite nice :) you may have known that i didn't have photoshop and used to edit my pictures from picnik.com well i now have photoshop CS4 thanks to a very very kind stranger (a friend now). i met her last month and she said she would be willing to give me her photoshop and she actually did and i didnt even have to pay her ( i've offered to be the photographer for all the major events in her life :) i owe her atleast that much).
(to think that the world still has some kindness left and there are people who are genuinely nice, i have become more positive and optimistic especially about talking to people i wouldn't normally talk to, becoming friends with strangers, even just smiling at someone you don't know or maybe a word or two to the person sitting next to you on the bus/train. i want to get to know more people everyday, i want to learn their names and know that they will mean something to me. i want to start making memories and keep them with me. life is too short and i want to live while im still alive.)

so i edited these pictures in photoshop (some done in picnik as well). everything is new and it feels the same way it felt when i first started learning to edit pictures on picnik. in all honesty picnik is much easier to use but i have to get myself to be able to use photoshop as well. i have more pictures to update you with but i am taking my time with those even though they are really similar to these ones (they were taken in a field as well). i am just experimenting and learning how to use photoshop so i'll only upload those after i'm content with pressing each and every button and see what it does to the picture :P

 my tripod (what would i do without it!) and the field :)

hunters and collectors

sorry for the lack of updates. my exams have finally finished now and i am out of the withdrawal phase i was going through since i hadn't taken pictures (proper pictures!) for over a month now. this is from a random/unplanned shoot i did on friday. we made up the ideas as we progressed and the duck feather is just random. we found it on the floor and thought it would be 'cool' to use. doing a shoot with no ideas to start with and having a lot after taking a few pictures, i kind of liked it. i always plan my shoots in so much detail i always find myself being somewhat disappointed at the final outcome. i always think i didnt do well enough because it looks better in my head when i plan it but i guess not having a set of expectations or a fixed idea that you plan is a good thing for me because to be honest i was quite pleased with whatever i managed to capture. this is quite different to my normal 'happy' pictures. i am still experimenting and am not yet ready to be confined by limitations. on other news, i went to oxford for the weekend and managed to take a lot of pictures (self portraits) in the middle of a field which was quite fun since it involved a lot of jumping and throwing things around ;) i also went to a hill which had amazing view of the landscapes of oxfordshire. i will upload those pictures as soon as i am finished editing them. i like so many pictures it's going to be difficult to choose!

i am in love with this video! dcfc never fails to amuse me. i had been meaning to blog this video for so long but i wanted it to correspond with the pictures and i think the song/video goes well with this set. :)

 

god that was strange to see you again...

(what's more strange is that i come across songs for every story i have to say and every feeling i need to express and what's less strange is that you are not going to understand this. the one who is meant to do so, will.)

i thought i was ready. i had prepared myself well for i knew i would see you again. i don't know why but i had a feeling and i was right, but then, i was wrong. i don't know my own weaknesses and strengths i am still yet to discover. i thought the chapter had ended and there was nothing more to follow, but then again, i was wrong. it felt weird, god it felt strange. like i was seeing you for the very first time again, like it was the last time i would ever see you, but not quite, there were questions left unanswered and hushed voices and stories untold.

i needed to be near you, i needed to hear your voice and i needed you to say something to me. smiles are for people you think you know, but you don't, and smiles are for those you want to ignore and not have to speak to, smiles are for those you care but smiles are also for those you forget, and not remember again. therefore, i needed to talk to you, because your smile meant a lot of things to me and so i don't smile back, and so i keep looking, and so i keep hoping to catch you looking at me again, not for just a quarter of a second, but more than that and so you did, and so i came to talk to you.

it wasn't how i had planned it to be like. i had gone through this a number of times in my head. say something clever, say something unusual, anything but a hello, anything but 'sanchai chau?' and my mind was blank. words i thought i knew weren't there anymore and instead there was emptiness and everything was a blur and i fought to grasp just one from inside the blackhole swirling in my mind, and after all i did end up saying 'sanchai chau?'

i had things to say to you, things to hear from you. stories to tell and memories to relive but i was afraid, and i didn't want to take too much of your time and yet i did. i was happy, but i wasn't, content but not completely. i wish i had said more, or heard more from you. i wish i wasn't angry or jealous and i wish i was a tad bit more cheerful and tad less distracted. if you know me well i was only trying to seem like i was unaffected by you, but i wasn't and i knew even though i hadn't seen you or heard from you for a very long time, i would never cease to be amazed by you, but not in the same way like i used to be, because this time i knew my place and i knew yours far too well. i guess i was only just happy to see you again, i wish i would have shown it to you but my ego wouldn't let me.

i can't remember the things i didn't want to forget. i can't remember the songs i was going to sing for you, or the pictures i would take of you but i do remember that i don't want us to become strangers. i won't see you or talk to you for a very long time, and i will have forgetten the things you said, or the promises i made. i will change and so will you and i guess both of our memories will get distorted and the times we spent together will sink to the bottom of the endless oceans within our minds. but if we meet again someday, lets sit down and lets talk. lets share stories of the people in our lives and the happiness we will have found with them. lets talk about our dreams and lets count the ones that we've made come true and the ones we are yet to turn into reality and the ones we are yet to dream of. lets take pictures, lets take happy pictures, of silly faces, awkward smiles, of times we forgot and times we still remember, lets take pictures of us and lets hope that thats how we remember eachother, if heaven forbids we never meet again.  

(but i know we will, sooner or later, so remember your stories and i'll remember mine. let me hear your thoughts and i'll let you in on my secrets. let me know that you've been good and i'll tell you of the mischiefs i've been part of. lets live our lives, lets make stories, lets fall in love, until we meet again my dear.)

casual lies

 

 

 

 

 

 

candid pictures taken of friends and strangers. thank you for letting me photograph :)

picture of me by merina

completely unrelated to the pictures but don't you just love billy joel? what a legend! i heard this song in the beautiful john lewis advert ages ago but only remembered to blog about it today.