ramblings

i am in my own bed after months but i cannot fall asleep so i am staying up all night making pictures, listening to the wind and writing down stories of heartbreaks that seem to come and go in my head as disconnected thoughts. this song is not related at all but it makes me fucking happy.

(knock knock)

you woke me up in the middle of the night. eyes wide. you shivered and wept. hush, my dear boy, it was only a bad dream. your body was fire. i dare not imagine what horrors you witnessed. lord, be kind.

(knock knock)

dear child, you are still young. the grass in the marshes is taller than you. the river is too deep. you cannot cross. i never learnt how to swim.

(knock knock)

you are my flower boy. i am the thorns you chose to keep. i will keep you safe. i will watch you bloom.

(knock knock)

i told you my deepest secrets. i showed you my darkest fears. and your light could not shine bright enough. you held me in your arms. you did not whisper kind words to me, like you used to.

(knock knock)

you love your drugs more than you will ever love me. to be honest, i loved the idea of you more than i ever loved you anyway.

(knock knock)

you never came. i never waited long enough.

(knock knock, thud.)

THUD.

i do not have the key. you are a thief my lover. you’d break any lock if you wanted to. 

you broke me.