light-bathing

a few pictures i took of myself when i had green hair.

 i needed something beautiful. green is beautiful. 

i've shaved all of my hair now. 

i needed to destroy something beautiful. green was beautiful.

letting go of you

dear you,

i am letting go of you.

i set you free.

sadness is a blessing

someone wise once told me that it is okay to be sad, that there is beauty in pain.

i believe you. 

its 4 in the morning as i write this, and i ordered pizza for myself and watched glee for the most part of the night. i am now listening to damien rice and the pain in his music resonates with mine and its oddly comforting.

i'm not okay right now, but i will be. i know i will.

i am sad but not defeated. i am grateful. i am hopeful. i am happy that i am sad.

 

 

 

 

rose coloured glasses

 

  there's beauty in everything. not everybody sees it. when the time comes, i will take off these rose coloured glasses, but for now my dear, let me keep them on. the world isn't as pretty without these hues and i don't think i am ready to see it for what it really is.

cocoon

little lion man

 

 

 

 

self-portraits taken with help from my friend simant who pressed the shutter for me :) these are just random outtakes that i tried for an idea i have in mind to use with a model in the future. thought i'd post here anyway to make up for what a rubbish blogger i have been for the past few months. i'm going to uni in two weeks now and that will most likely mean i probably wont be updating my blog as much but i have planned 3 shoots before that so hopefully i'll have enough time to get them done and find a way to keep this blog alive. hope you're all well!

demons in my head

i've been sheltering demons in my head for a long time, and i never realised before how they twisted and turned me into a person i despise, the person i've become now.

 hello you, welcome to my head.

a song for your heart

a song for your heart, and only your heart.

never trust a man in a suit

 

 

 

 

 

 

it was raining the whole day today and i hadn't done self portraits in a long long time so i thought i might just get wet for some pictures (although the rain is hardly visible here). i couldn't find my tripod's head with the screw that you attach with the camera so i had to bravely make do with blu tack and rubber bands. i had bought this mask for another idea that i am yet to photograph, so for now i've taken some pretty cliche'd pictures, do excuse my laziness! :P

besides the fact that the plastic i used to cover the camera didnot keep it dry and i had to wipe off the water after every shot and that i couldn't take any vertical shots, it worked out pretty well if i say so myself (in other words, the camera is still working phew)

 

have a good day/night everyone :) 

for those who have a date tomorrow, have fun and for those who don't, let ben and jerry's in your life (like i'm doing *__*)

someday my pain will mark you

listen to this song while you see the pictures, or dont see them at all.

happy

just to say thank you for supporting me and believing in me when i find it hard to do so myself.

i would very much like if everyone who comment could write their names from now on, instead of anonymous.

i'd like to know all of your names and remember them and thank you all properly.

with arms wide open.

i easily get carried away by thoughts and into worlds of distant futures.
expectations overwhelm me with the need to take better pictures everytime i shoot.
here i am looking for gravity to keep my feet on the ground, and you talk about flying.
i've never been much of a believer.
and today is not the day i take that leap of faith.

(today i went to a place where i'd never been before, and i was the only soul there. i spread my arms wide open, and shut my eyes close, and said nothing at all, and thought of noone at all. i put my camera on self timer and the shutter and the birds and the wind were the only things i could hear, and it was peaceful, and even though i couldn't stay there all day long, and the thoughts were loud and the time was rushing again, i was at peace.)

(well until this mega scary incident happened but i will not talk about it here *____* all i know is that it scared the hell out of me and i may possibly have nightmares about it tonight. okay fine maybe i'm exaggerating but something like that had never happened to me before and i think i just ruined this post and now i'm going to shut up. maybe just ignore this part :P)

distant echoes and faded memories

i wish i had lived when the beatles lived.

edit: i did this post in a hurry so i didn't have time to write much about it and i only just remembered. i have had this idea for a long time but when i did it i cant say i was impressed by the outcome. running back and forth on self timer trying to fit in a suitcase within 10 seconds was definitely not my best skill and after about two hours and 400 unsatisfying pictures i just gave up, so i will definitely reshoot this idea with a model and have thought of a few changes which i think will better show this concept (to depict a journey. ps: the pictures on the suitcase are the pictures from my first few shoots! hint hint ;)) on other news i've got a job now so the few free hours i get i spend sleeping and reading for EP and on facebook (i should be ashamed!) i still have tons of pictures i havent even started editing yet and there's so many ideas i want to shoot but in the mean time work is taking priority. i also chose to do an extended project over the summer about which im not really sure anymore. a 5000 word essay about autism which i havent even started yet seems likely to fail but lets see how that goes. hopefully, i'll be able to have a decent essay by the end of summer and also some new shoots (which involve mirrors, red threads, ceramic masks, a guitar in mid air, butterflies, newspapers, roses, a vintage picnic, and teenagers on the loose).
hope everyone is having a great time :)